A short story
Written by Alez Maravillas
Edited by Martixa Maravillas
I’m dreading writing about this, but then again I don’t want to forget it. No, I do want to forget it, but how. I sit in a meeting and everything is going on around me. Words are being said and yet I sit and write about last night. I doodle and I write what happened, or more how I felt about last night, but I don’t know how I really feel other than just dark pain.
What happened last night
He had texted me a few times in regards to me making time for him. I would’ve made all the time in the world, just to spend more time with him. However I delayed my responses to see if he was really willing to make time for me. We spent Sunday night texting for a long time it was the longest we’ve had texted in years; he wanted to see me but was playing hard to get. After that we texted on and off throughout the week, he then finally said I’ll meet you this day and I agreed. I didn’t like the time or his conditions but I wanted to see him. I feared what could happen but I wanted to believe he wouldn’t hurt me.
We met when the night was just starting, at a coffee shop, I arrived a little earlier and oddly he was dropped off, where was his car? I met him inside the shop and I couldn’t help but awkwardly smile. I was glad to see him but, I also was extremely nervous. He was wearing a blue blazer with a v neck fitted t-shirt where you could see a little of his famous tattoos. He seemed so much shorter than before; standing next to him I felt tall or maybe it was just my extra weight. He looked around to figure out what to order and said order me a regular coffee while he opened his wallet and said here, but before he could give me any money I said no I got it. I ordered his coffee and got myself something. The girl taking the order looked distressed and very unhappy. I felt stupid ordering his coffee because I really didn’t know how he wanted it after 7 years; I really didn’t know this guy. After ordering I looked at my phone and he texted from the can saying “iced please”. He came out and I explained I didn’t see his message and he said don’t worry and asked the barista if he could change it, and she did. We sat, started our drinks and started a conversation about his work and his day, he looked at his watch and mentions that he needs to leave by 10 since he works early the next day. I agree since I work early the day as well. We sip a bit of our drinks and he says to me lets go for a walk.We step outside the coffee shop and he asks where did you park?,right there that’s your car he said surprised what happened to the old?I got this instead I replied.Cool stuff,he said can I drive it? He asks I trust him of course yes you can I say I hand him the keys but warn him the car is a mess you see I didn’t care as much to keep my car clean. I clean it out and he drives.
He drove and talked, I felt safe but didn’t know where we were headed to. I wanted to feel nervous that maybe he would do something to me. He reaches towards me and touches my back, I kind of pull away. He feels rejected, we talk and he pulls me to kiss him on a red light I’m close to him but I don’t kiss him, he then says your saved by the light. He drives, we talk. Where are we going I say to him. Ah I don’t know he says well see where the road takes us. He drove into a building complex where all the lights were off and pulled to the farthest corner where there were no lights and nothing was visible. I knew we weren’t just gonna chat I thought.
He turned the car off and all the lights and stared at me. He brought back the conversation from the pervious time and he kissed me. I just looked at him and and said yeah I meant everything I said last time.He reaches for me again and kisses me, I lose control and kiss him back. I throw myself on him as he pulls me closer with his hands using full force. He kisses fast as I have control of his mouth pulling it hard and controlling him mouth.( He says things to me and I pull away and say no, I wanna whine like a little girl but I control myself. He begs and says please over and over, more kissing occurs and as I kiss his lips I smell the wine residue in his mouth with a hint of ham from his dinner and the recent coffee. He’s aroused and stronger. He grabs my neck and parts of my body where I lose control, he feels defeated. He says my name many times and it clicks why he is saying my name more than usual, it is so her name doesn’t slip up.
After everything is done he doesn’t express calmness like he once did he seems aggravated. He straightens up and says I don’t understand, he is upset. He looks at me with disbelief.
I didn’t know how to feel other than the blank look he gave me and the look of madness.We both had a conversation on the way back to the coffee shop. He drove and was upset, he kept telling me I didn’t know what I wanted and he thought whatever I wanted wasn’t what he was he keeping saying I was crazy.Those words hurt stung me after what I had just been subjected to, it felt wrong just like it did seven years ago when he first forced me. He said to me you can’t even do the non serious stuff how are you gonna do the serious stuff. He kept calling me crazy, I was content. When he parked near the coffee shop I said to him say something mean to me, he looked at me and said you’re a fuckin nut and I looked at him and said, do you mean that and he said look at my face what does it tell you. He had a serious face on like everything he said he truly meant, I got out of the car to drive back home and he lastly said to me putting back on his blue untouched blazer be safe he said to me looking very sad as he said it like he was worried about me or torn by departing. I said will I see you again he said mostly likely not and walked away. It was in that moment that everything that had just happened broke inside of me , I lost the battle and the war.