Fallen out of…

Today was another a day a busy Friday in fact.I woke up mad didn't follow my diet wasn't feeling happy at all.

Yesterday I went walking with a friend that's a counselor I cried my eyes out during the walk I realized I still have pain and I don't wanna let go.I feel guilty I feel I've lost this big piece of my life and I feel stupid for feeling that way.She gave me some homework and I still have to do it.She did however told me my priority is to be mentally healthy.

I had meetings at work I didn't stay much after.I cried some on my way to work.I ordered a burrito from rubios and was like bla didn't even enjoy it.

I got home showered bought supplies to paint rocks.I hid some rocks .I drove around.I felt anxiety I feel kinda lost with my routine.I bought lolicup and painted it helped.I went to the movies and I talked with my best friend.I feel pressured I told her I feel I need to be over it I feel it's wrong to still hold feels I'm afraid of being stuck I'm afraid 😳 of the unknown I'm fearful of what people think I desperately want to feel healthy.Yet so many thoughts run my mind as it drives me crazy 😭😭and I tell myself you'll be okay trust and believe everything that's ment to be will be will be trust

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