FAILED date unpleasant encounters

Sigh what a day,I wouldn’t write but I feel on edge right my forearms hurt.I dont know how I feel so let me start.I had been feeling awesome,working out has been good I feel stronger I’ve lost 10lbs and 10percent body fat so clothes fit better and i feel better.Ive gotten complements left and right at work by the way I dress and how I look.Today my nutionist was really happy with y results and told me I should feel the same about it which I did.So I had a date( hangout today) with a guy that has been bugging me to hangout with him for over two months.Ugh the fail on this guy.So I wasn’t into him but since I was feeling so great I wanted to go out and dress up feel good and just hangout with someone.I dressed casual but earrings and necklace .Dude flaked,I didn’t wait for him at the place I went shopping and eating on my own.I was pissed he apologized saying he feel asleep but I just knew that failed date was not worth it.I was annoyed and missing my ex more than ever.He would never do that to me and than I remembered if we were still together I wouldn’t be there being flaked on.Sigh I took my pride I was so hurt by the guy flaking and saying sorry but I reminded myself that I didn’t forgive my friends for flaking or being late that I wasn’t going to let this guy slide with it I didn’t reply to his apologies took my ass to eat pizza and shopping.I went shopping and then headed to my sister performance.

AT MY SISTERS PERFORMANCE ……

Very rarely I see my sister perform but today I told myself why not.I got there and man,the pain started I almost had a heart attack.Maybe an over statement I sat at the table feeling like a boss and right across me I see my ex ex ex MARCUS the asshole I don’t wanna see ever…….he sat there in front of me and I was like what the fuck.He was  with his fiancee and I know he saw me as he stopped looking my way.He seen me and I know he seen me.I didn’t wanna leave just because he was there.I suddenly seen my ex best friend father and thought fuck if i see her im hug her and tell her he’s here.I saw her after an hour the conversation was awkward but i felt she understood my pain when I seen him.I literally felt like i was gonna have an attack I was having a hard time seeing him there I couldn’t cry i couldn’t do anything but be there and act normal.Sigh………I loved Marcus more than anything after everything but……..at this point……in life hate and anger is what fills my heart towards him and fear……After the performance I walked towards my car and I was feeling like I was having a hard time breathing sigh

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